See linda

Welcome 2009, it’s been so long I last wrote in here. I wasn’t gone, I was taking some time off … probably fixing my life together and concentrating, chasing my career. Another year is gone and a new episode of life is beginning. May my families & friends are bless with a better fulfilling life this year. InsyaAllah.

A lot of things happen last year. I edited my first feature film and surprisingly and unexpectedly it was for Shuhaimi Baba. When I was still studying, Shuhaimi Baba is the local film icon I admire. Well, probably she’s female and made uniquely different types of genres in her film. Working with Shumi was a good experience for me as a filmmaker and nevertheless every director have their own style and approach, just like Shumi she is the most dedicated person I have ever seen in making things done and ready. Editing with her for 1957 Hati Malaya was the unexpected and it also surprised me even more with my winning as the Best Editor during 21st Malaysian Film Festival 2008. I suppose these surprises have amazingly change my life. It’s a new step for me now. It was difficult to be here and it is most definitely not easy to maintain the quality of my work and my only hope is to keep doing it until I step in for the dream of my life. 

I would like to thank my family & friends for believing in me and supporting me throughout my life. Thank you so much for everything. Now that I have achieve this far, I wouldn’t stop working harder for whatever that awaits me in the future. Nothing is impossible with the help of Allah and keep moving on giving faith & insyaAllah the brightest day will come to shine. Amin.

Atomic Kitten - Love Doesn’t Hurt Have To Hurt

I learnt a lesson in my life
And I learnt the hard way
I don’t know why I used to fall in love
With the wrong kind

Why I suffer so much pain
But I only had myself to blame
Then you came
And you make a time to show me

Love shouldn’t have to hurt
To feel good
It’s such a revelation
With you I can be myself
And I know it should
Don’t have to cry
Don’t have to fight
Don’t have to die
Not after tonight
Show me
Love (Love)
Doesn’t have to hurt to feel good

Well darling now it seems to me
Like I’ve always known you
But I still shudder
When I think back
On the lonely times

I used to keep all my feelings inside
From your eyes I have nothing to hide
Baby you came
And you make a time to show me

Love doesn’t have to hurt
To feel good
It’s such a revelation
With you I can be myself
And I know it should
Don’t have to cry
Don’t have to fight
Don’t have to die
Not after tonight
Show me
Love (Love)
Doesn’t have to hurt to feel good

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Baby

Lying here byside you
Feels so fine
Talking about everything in this heart of mine

Love doesn’t have to hurt
To feel good
It’s such a revelation
With you I can be myself
And I know it should
Don’t have to cry
Don’t have to fight
And in your arms
Not after tonight
Show me
Love (Love)
Doesn’t have to hurt to feel good

Once my heart is open…. it is worth to open… once I feel right…. it is worth feeling… once I adore…. it is worth to adore…. once I sleep… it is worth sleeping! Nothing can deny it, I’m trying my very best to feel deep without interfearance… And finally after having a discussion with my two kakak in my life over a dinner, I am fine and very much possitive with this feeling inside. It is such a rare energy I face each day…. Lets keep smiling!

I finally found org gila dlm malaysia ni… tak lain tak bukan mr…. like me. He is crazy enuf to click with me man! memang best jugak. lama tak rasa like this. Now he would probably think i memang crazy and maybe he would go missing after knowing me. hahaha if u are reading it at this very moment…. watch out there is more to come and dont freak out!

Ku Mohon : By Sheila Majid

Setiap hari kumohon
Agar Kau sentiasa
Memberiku ketenangan dalam hati… kekuatan
Menempuhi segala dugaan yang mencabar ini
Pasti punya ertinya
Kau beriku harapan
Menjawab segala persoalan
Hadapi semua dengan tenang

Dengan merasa kesyukuran
Ku doa Kau selalu
Mengawasi gerak-geriku
Berkatilah ku perlu rahmat dari Mu

( korus )
Oh Tuhan terangkan hati dalam sanubariku
Untuk menempuhi segala hidup penuh cabaran ini
Oh Tuhan ku berserah segalanya kepadamu
Agar jiwaku tenang dengan bimbingan Mu selalu

Ada kala ku merasa hidup ini seperti kaca
Jikalau tidak bersabar
Hancur berderailah akhirnya
Tabahkanlah hatiku
Melalui semua itu… Ooh…
Kuatkanlah
Cekalkanlah diriku
( ulang korus )

Curahkanlah nikmat Mu pada hidupku

THIS SONG IS TRULLY AMAZING AND HAVE GIVEN THE STRENGHT FOR ME TO GO ON WITH LIFE AFTER BEING dumped. ALHAMDULILLAH.

SINCE I’M TALKING ABOUT BREAKUPS HERE…. MAYBE I SHOULD SHARE SOME POINTS FOR CASES LIKE MINE. I’VE SEEN AND LISTEN SOME SAD STORIES EXPERIENCED BY FRIENDS, AND MAJORITY MOST BREAK UPS END UP IN A TERRIBLE WAY. INSTEAD OF JUST BEING HONEST TO BREAK UP D RELATIONSHIP… MOST MEN OUT THERE WOULD REALLY LEAVE IN A HUGE REMARK BY BLAMING THEIR EX RATHER THAN TO SIT AND DISCUSS IT THROUGHLY FACE TO FACE ANG GIVING THEIR LAST RESPECT TO THEIR EX. BLAMING WILL DEFINITELY KILL OUR CONFIDENCE TO LOVE AGAIN AND ESPECIALLY IF THERE IS NO GOOD THINGS SAID ABOUT US AT ALL WILL PULL DOWN D STRENGHT OF A WOMEN.

WELL, OF COURSE SOMETIMES THEY CAN’T AVOID MISTAKES BUT D LEAST THEY COULD DO IS TO END IT IN A GOOD WAY AND GIVE PROPPER RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER FOR D VERY LAST TIME. NOT BY EMAIL, LETTER OR A NOTE OR BY BEING M.I.A (MISSING IN ACTION) DADADLALALA D LIST GOES ON. why? COZ THE PERSON U DUMP MAY DIE BEFORE U DO AND DO U WANT TO CLEAR ALL MISS UNDERSTANDING B4 ANYONE DIES OR U RATHER LET THEM DIE AND U MOVE ON? ATAU IF U WILL DIE 1ST B4 D PERSON U R DUMPING… life is short ….
WELL, IF U END UP DYING FIRST B4 D PERSON UR DUMPING LAGI SUSAH AND ESPECIALLY IF U HAVEN’T YET APOLOGISE, U KENA TUNGGU FOR HER/HIM TO DIE THEN ONLY U COULD APOLOGISE AND MOVE ON IN D OTHER SIDE OF D WORLD. (AKHIRAT) SCARY ISN’T IT, IMAGINE IF U SEBENARNYA DAPAT MASUK SYURGA AND U CAN’T PROCEED BECAUSE U HAVE NOT APOLOGISE OR THERE ARE STILL UNFINISHED BUSINESS WITH D LIVING PERSON. U GOT TO WAIT MAN!

when you talk about knowing yourself and understanding oneself, it is a very wide subject. This is because some people may find themselves and some may not even notice themselves or may not know their needs, their importance and their talents. Unless if you try looking for them.

I have encounter the lost feeling and the missing part of me after being 26 years old. I now realise why haven’t I feel satisfied with myself. Being a performer is definitely the answer for it. I had stop performing for about 5 years and lately I felt depress and confuse sometimes with my condition being a freelance filmmaker. After wondering what else do I want to achieve, I realise maybe I have stop having fun and maybe should do more fun stuff. Until one day recently I heard the quickie’s announcement on a new Tv reality show called so you think you can dance. I was excited and think deeply. And not long after that I told mysel to just try out the audition for the dance competition this 16,17 March, suddenly as it is fated for me to do a comeback in performing, my pet sis Mimie invited me to join her for a theatre workshop and so i told myself that this could probably show me what I’m best at and to sort of looking more what was missing and of course to build my self esteem and confidence for the big audition I’m planning to participate.

So after d 3 days of workshop, I realise that I was right. D missing part of me is now back. So now I should start doing performing arts or to be a performer by that means while working in film or broadcasting. And all d answers have now answered to me. I’m born to perform and born to make others see the artistic values that I have. No more wrong feelings! I’m very excited and insyaAllah may Allah bless me.

28th February 2007 is my 26th birthday. Syukur alhamdulillah it was a good birthday for me this year. I really needed to expose to religious activity and I did on my birthday. Well it was’nt a plan but it was takdir Allah swt. I had plans of course but like I have said in my earlier blog posted on how plans don’t actually turn out as it is? Yup this is one of it. It was fate. Here is my story…

On the 27th February 2007 I was in Kino i lepak coz the night before my sister and I stayed over night there… Just for fun and on that night of 27th February 2007, we went home early to watch Betty and desperate housewives and so we watch the show and enjoying it as usual. Not long after that my sister received an sms from Tan saying that Imri’s father is ill terribly and probably its about time. So we quickly get ourselves ready to go and visit uncle (Amir hamzah) but as soon as we arrived uncle had passed away peacefully. Al Fatihah. Since my sister and I are quite close to arwah uncle, we decided to be there and of course to be there for Imri. Console him and at least give him the energy he needs. Alhamdulillah everything went well, in the morning at about 11am after solat jenazah in Surau SPPK segambut kita bertolak to Chemor untuk kebumikan jenazah. Imri and family are fine and taking it well as they all have expected arwah’s death as he was suffering from liver cancer.

The whole day was a good experience for me as a Muslim because it was my first time performing solat jenazah and witness the burial for the first time. During my late uncle passed away, most of us did not went to the burial. Probably at that time I was young, afraid and was also crying alot. Well it;s been good for me to experience and be there to console Imri and family. Alhamdulillah. May Allah blessed arwah and belongs to the group of people He loves. InsyaAllah. Al Fatihah.

Well my life isn’t so bad and i am still surviving kan and nevertheless carrier path has been good so far and still trying my best to be better in everything i do. Although my family are far a part we still contact each other like almost every week alhamdulillah. To justify my life satus now memang belum kaya lagi hahaha but happy and glad to have great friends and sister to always support me through out the worst. I am glad that Allah have always take good care of me in giving me lessons and feelings to me in my days. If He doesn’t allow me to feel and go through my lessons, I really do not know what would I be now.
Life is just a path we must forgoe, after all it is what we’re suppose to do kan? We are born to live on this wonderful earth and to learn what He have given us by making choices to do good or bad in our life. There should not be any question arises… such as why are we living on this earth if we have to suffer? why me because I never asked to live on the earth? or Why life should be conditionally? Well, I do not want to say any further because it might be confusing for some people. To me if a person is tawakal, redha and sentiasa berilmu insyaAllah will understand the meaning of living.

After being single for really quite sometime now… I’m begining to move on and forgetting my ex. Thank God I’m over him… that twisted mind of him opps! it’s abit harsh there. I’m very excited to live on and experience more happenings and hopefully I’ll meet someone who would love me deeply, grow old with me, share everything and live happily ever after. huahahaha…. siapa tak nak? hehehe

haha in terms of relationship…Honestly speaking there are so many choices given to me and many wrong choices made so far! From one mistake to another wow! It’s been 1 year being single and I’ve learn to do better choices and avoid mistakes so 2006 was d succesful year for me in becoming a better person. Probably I’m best without a boyfriend? or it’s because I am learning my mistakes? Probably both… without a boyfriend have made me learn my mistakes easier kot??? hahaha yg penting I love it and hopefully still manage to avoid my mistakes forever even if I have a boyfriend one day.

For me personally, feelings is such a fantastic gift by Allah to humans. It helps alot to understand people and the entire creatures in this world. And also to make us understand ourselves better don’t u agree? So the best feeling is to be appreciated. This is a definite answer for everything in the world including plants, animals, water, sun, moon, stars, clouds and the list goes on. Well I think sometimes we forget to appreciate kan? even I myself sometimes memang tak ingat nak appreciate. It happens I guess… So nothing is better than appreciation in our life ….that’s what I learn for 26 years of living…. must be able to appreciate everything from Allah and the people around me…. esp family and friends.

insyaAllah things will get its way better and good.

Another up coming movie of 2007 is susuk. Do not miss out if you are interested in the mysterious effect of wearing susuk and the practice of having susuk. Susuk (n) a form of shape; frame. The forbidden practice of inserting and embeding foreign objects such as gold, silver and diamonds under a person’s skin in order to increase the person’s allure. The wearer will have to respect a few taboos for this magical spell to work, failling which consequences will be dire. There is also a dangerous variant called susuk keramat which most likely is no longer practised today.

For further info on the movie check out the website www.susukthemovie.com

Today is a very quiet day for me… im still learning to live without my beloved Ginger, Ella and Left. Oh Im really missing them in my day. It was a tragedy that I will never forget in my entire life. The infection that they suffered from was antritis viral. It infected Ginger then Left and later Ella was infected…it was really quick! But the sad thing was I didn’t manage to bring Left to the hospital coz she was not so affected and thought it was ok… ya I was wrong but although I manage to brought Ginger and Ella to the hospital they both didn’t survived either. Ginger and Ella died on the same day at the hospital yesterday.

I was already down and depress when left died on Wednesday. I could’nt stop remembering her since the day she died and yesterday the other two died wah! what a lost for us. Ginger’s son, Mickey is very much missing his dearly mother and his brother Ella. He does’nt eat or drink eversince the day before yesterday. It seems that he knows. So, I spend my day force feed Mickey and make sure the rest are ok and eating well. As for titan his having a soar eye but luckily his apetite is superb, keep eating like nobody business. Minnie is very much active but quite lonely for not having a buddy to play with. V pulak is very selfish as ussual, spending her own time with her kittens and eat. well at least they are eating and it’s always a good sign to see them eating. Alhamdulillah err… except for Mickey la still need to force feed 3 times a day. But it is still a good sign that he does not have any similar symtoms as Ginger, Ella or Left.

InsyaAllah everything is going to be ok and I believe that this happens for a reason and the reason will be for the best and good for us insyaAllah. May Allah bless all our effort and our patience and may Ginger, Ella and Left rest in peace. Amin.